When children create pseudo-science

I never stop feeling bewildered over how many ridiculous things people are willing to believe in. Energy patterns absorbed from flowers and transferred into unhealthy people, a race of Lizard-people ruling the planet and psychics who talk to pets. I made the point to my kids today that there doesn’t seem to be anything so over-the-top that you couldn’t find at least one person to believe in.

To that end I let the kids have some creative time and had them create their own pseudo-sciences. The only conditions I enforced where that they use sciencey words which are misunderstood by most people and that there was some potential for them to make money.

Here were the results:

Nuclear magnetic resonance quantum vision goggles!

These goggles combine the technologies of nuclear magnetic resonance imaging to detect unwanted intrusions in your body (tumours, swallowed pieces of Lego…) and quantum mechanics which can convert these into harmless dark energy which will simply pass through your body. Ten out of ten dentists recommend it!

Old gold!

While it may look like regular gold, it actually has twice the atomic weight! That means it’s twice as valuable! For being such a good customer though we’ll only charge you an extra 50%!

Cake particles!

Trouble sleeping? Well there is a fine line between being asleep and being awake. These particles have a very specific atomic structure which are designed to cross you over the line. For your convenience they have been baked into cake form.

Strength watches!

These may look like ordinary watches, but when their faces are rubbed together they create super electromagnetic atomic energy pulses that nucleate your arm and increase your bone density by up to 20%! Not only does this decrease your risk of osteoporosis it also makes you more resistant to accident and injury. Sold individually only.

So what do you think? Do any of these pass muster? Could people actually fall for them? Which one is the best?

Comment and let me know!

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3 Comments

Filed under McKinnon Secondary Sceptical Society

3 responses to “When children create pseudo-science

  1. Peta

    Definitely strength watches.

  2. Hell, I’d buy the lot.
    Your kids should go into advertising.
    Oh, and are the lizard people form the Hitchiker’s guide to the galaxy “trilogy”?
    Cos that was an awesome piece of logic.

  3. Where can I get some of that Old Gold? I can make myself RICH!

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